Do you ever reach a point where you think, I’m going to give just what I get?
I can take on this train of thought all too quickly.
When someone treats me poorly, it’s not unusual for me to begin giving back to them just what I am getting
Why do I not treat people the way I should, not the way they are treating me?
The not so friendly clerk at the store; she gets cold indifference from me.
The disgruntled co-worker who is snapping at everyone; they get avoidance from me
The grumpy spouse; he gets grumpy in return from me
Why do I do that?
Am I not called to give without expecting in return?
Am I not called to show others the grace and love of God?
Yes, I am!
More typical from me is to give exactly what I am getting in return.
My grandmother used to tell me;
“You get more flies with honey than with vinegar”
I don’t think I understood what she meant until just recently.
The golden rule tells us to treat others the way we want to be treated.
I don’t think I’m very good at that. I just expect others to treat me well in the first place.
I think more often than not, I’m expecting others to show me the way they want to be treated and when they are not capable of that, they get exactly from me what they are giving to me.
Somewhere, giving, kindness, respect, friendliness, love, gentleness, and more…they have to start somewhere.
I’m capable, so it must start with me.
A line from the popular Christmas hymn, Let There Be Peace on Earth, comes to mind: Let peace begin with me
Whether that’s being friendly to a clerk who isn’t; whether that’s showing a disgruntled co-worker some grace; or whether that’s being loving to a grumpy spouse; regardless, of who or what is going on, peace in my life begins with me giving not by me getting.
And that’s my one minute mind
Just Bits and Pieces 
Ok – the comment I made must have disappeared somewhere because my other one has shown up ok. What I said was – this is totally relateable for me – and probably most people. I used to give back what we ‘should’ rather than how a person’s treatment of me really made me feel. I did that all my life cause I figured I was a ‘nice’ person. I now give back in accordance with how I really feel because I think authenticity is so important. When I hit 50, I found I could only be ‘real’ with people. I will never be unkind because we are all equal in our humanity but I will not accept poor treatment. I just drop people and move on if I feel they are selfish, self-absorbed and taking way more than they ever give. And I think it’s more honest to be that way because there should be no reward for poor behaviour. People can only improve if they realise, through honest reactions, that they need to.
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Yes, yes, yes!! I am finding as I get older I’m loosing my ability to BullS*&^ and am much more honest even when it isn’t what someone wants to hear. Well said my friend! Well said indeed!
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I just made a comment and I am not sure if it has gone through to moderation or just disappeared. Can you let me know if you didn’t get it and I will try again. Loved the post.
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Got it! ♥
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This so totally relatable – I really get why you have to work on doing what you ‘should’ rather than giving back what you get. I used to be the kind of person that gave back what we ‘should’ regardless of how I was treated. I was like that for all my life until I hit 50 and then I changed. I will never be unkind to someone but I also won’t be a doormat. Rather than be a doormat, I walk away from users now. It is possible to walk away whilst recognising our equality as human beings. But that does not mean we ever have to accept poor behaviour. I don’t think we do other people any favours when we fail to react appropriately to poor treatment or bad behaviour. That’s how people learn to behave better. Once again – I LOVE your one minute mind and the thinking it stimulates.
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Great thought process Gilly. I’m finding as I grow older I too am less willing to let people use and abuse me. The difference between now and then, I’m a bit more gentle in the ‘reprimands’ about how I’m treated. Learning to behave is a life long process and yes, our giving appropriate feedback is essential! Can’t tell you how much I enjoy your comments here!
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What a great message!!
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Everyone does this… I wish I wasn’t so easily deterred by others moods…
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Oh Anna, I wish the same thing, unfortunately my humanness shows through regularly! 😉
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