Here we are ready for another Wifey Wednesday post! Time sure flies, doesn’t it?
I can’t believe this will be number 7 in this series, but then again, I do have a lot of pins on my Relationship board 🙂
Let’s do a quick recap of what I’ve learned (and hopefully you have too) for those who are just joining Wifey Wednesdays, shall we? Terrific!
1) Forgiving Freely – Everything we do and say leaves some sort of mark. Choose love, kindness, gentleness, tenderness FIRST!
2) Staying in the Present – Every day is another opportunity to get to know each other NOW, in this moment, in this situation.
3) Encouraging Words – It’s one thing to THINK encouraging words, but an entirely different thing to actually CONVEY them.
4) Speaking His Language – In order to speak our spouses love language, we have to stop thinking about what speaks to us; speak their language
5) Do It Now, Don’t Wait – We are not promised tomorrow so don’t wait to make each day the gift it was meant to be. Nothing can wait when it comes to our marriages.
6) Waging War – Learning to PRAY, DUCK, and GET THE HECK OUT OF GOD’S WAY!
Funny thing about this whole living the Pinterest Relationship board thing; I can’t seem to stop adding new pins to it!! 😉 They say the first step to recovery is to admit you have a problem… Hi, my name’s Robyn and I’m a Pinterest addict! <snicker> 🙂
Well! Now that everyone is all caught up and I’ve admitted my problem, lets talk this week’s topic
Have you ever heard that humans make terrible eye witnesses? Why is that?
The answers really quite simple – everyone’s perspective is different.
So, while some things may be similar, no one is going to see exactly the same thing.
Guess what I learned this week? (OK, I already knew it, but boy did I need a reminder to consciously remember it)
Yep, the same principle applies to us married folk.
There are going to be things we see differently. Doesn’t mean one of us is wrong or that one of us is right, that’s just the way it is.
When we are in a disagreement, things can get out of hand rather quickly.
Mr. Right and I don’t see eye to eye on many things; if I’m honest, there are many times when we are in exact opposition of one another.
Doesn’t mean I’m right, doesn’t mean he’s right, it simply means we see things differently; our perspectives are not going to always be the same.
There are times, more than I care to actually admit, when our differing of opinions sweep us into an all out battle and we end up hurting each other.
Those times usually take time to heal and we retreat to our respective corners to lick our wounds. Now we’ve not only had a fight, but we are distant with one another. That stinks!
We’re getting better at not letting those opposing opinions/perspectives pull us into an all out battle, but it’s something we have to practice and consciously think about.
We’re finding sometimes its better to Agree to Disagree
Brela over at loveofromance.com offers some great tips for communicating when you and your honey don’t see eye to eye and I want to share them with you.
I’m going to practice them, perhaps the battle of wills and perspectives will be an amazing truce as we get better at each of the following:
Don’t Ignore What Your Spouse is Saying and Feeling
Your spouse always has a voice in your marriage even when you do not agree. By ignoring your spouse you are telling him/her that you do not care what he/she has to say or thinking.
Avoid Using Belittling Words
Dismissing or minimizing what your spouse is saying makes communication ineffective. Period. This type of communication is guaranteed to make your spouse feel unworthy and unappreciated.
Leave Sarcasm Out of It
Communication designed to cut or give pain succeeds in creating hurt feelings, emotional detachment and resentment. Something that your marriage can do without.
Stay Away From Condescending Words
Communicating in a superior manner towards your spouse easily takes a disagreement into a full blown argument that can get real ugly. Remember, that even though you may be having a disagreement, you should never forget that your spouse deserves your respect and love.
Read more at http://www.loveofromance.com/blog/agree-to-disagreehtml#HfhDz61mqZdI1cOP.99
I’m going to continue working on these four bits of great advice, how bout you?
Till next time,
10 thoughts on “Wifey Wednesday – Lets Agree to Disagree”
Yeah Pinterest can be addictive that’s for sure! And I guess every relationship has its ups and downs and everyone has to find their own way of dealing with conflict. I think the important thing is to have respect and empathy for the other.
Respect and empathy- those are two biggies in any relationship! Thanks for stopping in Nicole
This is all good advice, tried and true… While I am not an expert, I can claim the good fortune of having been married since 1977, and things are still progressing nicely.
WOW!! I love hearing that folks have made marriage work when there so much news of those who don’t! Thanks for stopping in!!
married life is not easy at all, specially when there are disagreements, but remaining calm is key and remembering to respect each other.
Great tips that can literally be applied to all eelationships thanks for sharing x
Some good, sound advice there, not just in marriage but for life in general.
Gilly, I couldn’t agree more!! Interesting how that works; I’m finding many of the the ‘lessons’ I’m learning apply to life in general…. things that make ya go hmmmm 🙂
Thanks so much for stopping in!
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