Have you ever thought about what you think about?
That’s something I’ve been thinking about quite a bit lately.
I suppose the best way for me to say it is that I’ve been trying to be more conscience of my thought life.
So why am I bringing this up?
I’m noticing changes.
Changes in me as a person, as a wife, as a mother, as an employee, as me
There are three main things I’m noticing about me
- I’m a negative self thinker: I’m an optimist in every area of my life but I think more negative thoughts about myself throughout the day than I do positive (now THAT’S interesting…figure that one out Freud…how can I be an optimist who thinks negatively about myself). That has to effect me, right? I imagine it effects me in more ways than I’m aware.
- I can control the negativity: I’m just practicing mind you and have in no way mastered this, but I’m noticing that when catch myself thinking a negative thought about myself, I’m getting pretty good at refuting it I have to literally CHANGE my thought
- It’s easier than I thought to pay attention to my thoughts: Believe it or not, I’m not always in my head ( I know, you would think that’s where I would be if I’m being aware of my thoughts), but I’m finding I’m able to be present wherever I am and with whomever I’m with even while paying attention to what my thoughts are. It’s a balancing act of course, but like most things…practice makes it better and better.
So what, you might say. Well the so what is that I’m noticing changes everywhere in my life. Oh, they’re not big changes but small ones I’ve had to pay close attention to see.
As I begin to change how I think about me and am becoming more aware of my thought life, I’m noticing
- I’m less nit picky: I’m finding I think less and less about the things that annoy me. I’m tending to focus more on all the things I love about Mr Right, us as a couple, the boys, the house, everything; I’m focusing less and less on the little things that drive me nuts and annoy the bageebies out of me. Now some of those things are just losing importance in my life. I have bigger and better things to think about.
- I’m more tolerant: More tolerant with Mr Right, my boys, and those I come in contact with. I’ve started thinking that perhaps those around me could be thinking negatively about themselves, just like I do, and they need someone to lift them up instead of tear them down
- I’m smiling more: Those are contagious. Who would have thought it possible to catch a smile, but it’s true. I’m smiling a lot more, even when things are not so good in my life. When I smile I feel better; when I feel better it shows on my face; when it’s on my face it’s affecting others positively; when others are affected my life seems to run a smoother course.
I don’t know where all of this is going to go, but I’m going to ride along for a bit and continue to think about my thinking and just see where it takes me.